I was overseeing my son’s homework when my eyes fell on an article titled “Love and Lovers”. It made me grin. How many of them actually would understand that one. Well there was a time when I would swear by the article had I come across a similar write up then, but not today after all these years that drifted by, the testing times that tempered me.
For us, ours was the perfect marriage- the perfect match, the perfect love, the perfect spouse, the perfect union. Our families knew otherwise. They could pile rosters of differences, dissimilarities, “blind in love” attributes, and all other distinguished traits- save perfect. Anyways, we saw the nuptial rituals through and were then emphatically declared man and wife. It was not before long we realised it would not work out. Right from cuisines to bed linen we found our choices varied and since each of us was as obstinate as the other we replaced our shared study with two single desk corners, “our” cups- one red another black, “our” bed sheets- one white another gray.
We sensed a child would make our life simple, recover our lost love, and get “us” together for one strong reason. A baby we concluded was the panacea for all “our” woes. I remember vividly it was a glowing Tuesday afternoon when the doctor broke the news that God never wanted me to experience labour and that he wisely saw to it. A baby I shall never have I know, but a husband I would lose was something that dawned upon me later. He never let me complete- my part of the argument or my living. For him it was over eons ago. He never felt the need to bear me any longer. I will never be the wife he wanted, a woman well sound- financially and maternally.
I felt like a piece of junk. Polished for display till my limits tested and then suddenly when my value came crashing down, when I truly needed emotional support, my service was no longer needed. Before he uttered the ultimatum I moved out- out of his safely guarded terrain of which I was never the gate keeper, out of the family who treated me like a pariah in to a world where I started afresh. However the thought I could never have a family, a baby to cuddle, supervise studies, read out books to, hug the little self tight, and scalded my visceral soul.
One day, while shopping I accidentally bumped into an old friend of mine who had adopted her second child. It’s then that I realised that giving birth to a kid might get you close to God but adopting another makes you as good as him if not any less. After a few detailed talks with her and weeks of rigorous pondering I made up my mind- to invite a little being in my life, to bid my blighted woes a final farewell. I filed my papers and soon I became a single parent. It is really amusing to recollect that when happiness was just a few thoughts and a signature away it took me two full years of harrowing solitary existence to realise it.
My son was seven months old when I adopted him. He filled my voids and my white walls with bright crayons, my silence with chaotic chuckles, my neat room with silly insane toys. He taught me that he lived without knowing his parents, having no loved ones, have no security, yet having many reasons in life for a little smile and a lot more mischief. He taught me that my life was far less complicated than his. Understanding- that he was, because he asked less and observed more. I do not know who to thank. His parents for leaving him all alone in this wretched world, God for not showing any justice to this tiny being or worse to my earlier life that brought me to the brink of insanity from where I worked my way to existence.
For me he is my life. The reason I look forward to when I wind up my work early, when I rent a movie, when I get an ice cream packed. His naive questions make me feel wanted reinstating the fact that a small being in this world depends on my answers. He makes feel valuable, respected and adored. When I watch him fall asleep on his fairy tale book I realise there might be a reason why his eyes keep searching for answers when they move behind his closed eyelids because when they open they contain the twinkle which tells me he doesn’t need the answers anymore.
Cheque it Out!!!
A simple cheque can sometimes leave us perplexed. We have also faced the embarrassment of our cheque bouncing because we made an error while writing it. When we open a bank account, we take our familiarity with the cheque for granted. Perhaps a checklist is in order?
Ø Forger Forger: Forger's specialise in both simple and complex signatures. We may not be able to control where our signatures lie for forgers to practice, but we can control where our cheques lie. It makes sense to guard against misuse by keeping our chequebooks safe. Counting the leaves when we get our chequebooks and keeping the book under lock and key will guard our cheques and our bank balance.
Ø Spaced out: Cheque writing is a science, though not rocket science. There should be no blank space for someone else to make any additions. It takes only a few zeros to change the amount dramatically. It is a good practise to fill in carefully, leaving no space before the start of our lines or the amount, and to draw a line across the space left after the entry is complete. A safe cheque has lines drawn and unsafe cheques have spaces.
Ø Blank trap: Never sign a blank cheque. Even if we give it to some one we trust, there is the possibility that they may loose it. Your signature should always be the last entry on the cheque after everything else is filled up.
Ø Always crossed: At the top left corner of the cheque, we draw two parallel lines. When we do this we tell the banker that the amount should be paid only into a bank account and not as cash across the counter. A crossed cheque makes it easy to track any wrong payment to an unintended beneficiary.
Ø Disable the bearer: The word bearer means that the amount can be paid to the person who presents the cheque to our bank. Always strike out the words ‘or bearer’ and cross the cheque so that it is cashed only by the one it was meant for.
Ø Samples, please! There are transactions where we are asked to attach a sample blank cheque. Typically this happens when we give payment instructions for bills, EMIs or systematic investment plans (SIPs). The blank cheque is used to verify the specified bank account number, branch and such details. Cancel the cheque by drawing thick dark lines across the body of the cheque and writing the word “CANCELLED” across it so that it cannot be used. Never sign such a cheque.
Ø Corrections galore: It is common to make errors while writing a cheque. Going by the rule book, we need to sign and attest every such change.
Ø Out of bounds: The band at the bottom of the cheque contains important numbers that enable collection of the cheque amount. The codes there are read by machines. Leave that space untouched. Don’t write any thing there.
Ø Lost and not found! If you do not receive a new chequebook within a reasonable time from registering a request, inform your bank because it could have landed in the wrong hands. If it happens that a cheque leaf is missing, report it to your bank immediately or call their customer care number and issue a “stop payment” instruction.
If you decide to close your bank account, destroy or return to the bank, the unused cheque leaves left with you. Cheque writing is a simple affair. Knowing the basics can help us imbibe best practices and guard against misuse and fraud.
Ø Forger Forger: Forger's specialise in both simple and complex signatures. We may not be able to control where our signatures lie for forgers to practice, but we can control where our cheques lie. It makes sense to guard against misuse by keeping our chequebooks safe. Counting the leaves when we get our chequebooks and keeping the book under lock and key will guard our cheques and our bank balance.
Ø Spaced out: Cheque writing is a science, though not rocket science. There should be no blank space for someone else to make any additions. It takes only a few zeros to change the amount dramatically. It is a good practise to fill in carefully, leaving no space before the start of our lines or the amount, and to draw a line across the space left after the entry is complete. A safe cheque has lines drawn and unsafe cheques have spaces.
Ø Blank trap: Never sign a blank cheque. Even if we give it to some one we trust, there is the possibility that they may loose it. Your signature should always be the last entry on the cheque after everything else is filled up.
Ø Always crossed: At the top left corner of the cheque, we draw two parallel lines. When we do this we tell the banker that the amount should be paid only into a bank account and not as cash across the counter. A crossed cheque makes it easy to track any wrong payment to an unintended beneficiary.
Ø Disable the bearer: The word bearer means that the amount can be paid to the person who presents the cheque to our bank. Always strike out the words ‘or bearer’ and cross the cheque so that it is cashed only by the one it was meant for.
Ø Samples, please! There are transactions where we are asked to attach a sample blank cheque. Typically this happens when we give payment instructions for bills, EMIs or systematic investment plans (SIPs). The blank cheque is used to verify the specified bank account number, branch and such details. Cancel the cheque by drawing thick dark lines across the body of the cheque and writing the word “CANCELLED” across it so that it cannot be used. Never sign such a cheque.
Ø Corrections galore: It is common to make errors while writing a cheque. Going by the rule book, we need to sign and attest every such change.
Ø Out of bounds: The band at the bottom of the cheque contains important numbers that enable collection of the cheque amount. The codes there are read by machines. Leave that space untouched. Don’t write any thing there.
Ø Lost and not found! If you do not receive a new chequebook within a reasonable time from registering a request, inform your bank because it could have landed in the wrong hands. If it happens that a cheque leaf is missing, report it to your bank immediately or call their customer care number and issue a “stop payment” instruction.
If you decide to close your bank account, destroy or return to the bank, the unused cheque leaves left with you. Cheque writing is a simple affair. Knowing the basics can help us imbibe best practices and guard against misuse and fraud.
FAQs
Ø Why is the date of the cheque important?
A cheque is valid for 6 months from the date of its issue. In order for it to be honoured when it is presented to the bank, adequate balance has to be available in the account.
Ø Why do some cheques have the bank account number of the payee?
It is to ensure that the money is credited only into the correct bank account.
Ø How can one track the use of cheques?
The cheque numbers have to be in serial order and we should be able to identify each transaction. Writing out the cheque number, payee, date and amount in the summary pages of the cheque book will help keeping track of the cheques we have issued.
Ø What additional precautions can be taken to prevent tampering of cheques?
A transparent sticker tape can be pasted over the amount to prevent overwriting. These practises are followed by organizations that make large number of transactions.
DID U KNOW???
Always, ensure that you have money in the bank to pay for the cheque you have issued otherwise the bank will return (bounce) the cheque and may charge for the transaction. Besides, the payee can take criminal action against you for issuing the cheque without having the funds to pay for it.
A Little story……….that teaches a lot!!!
A giant ship engine failed. The ship’s owners tried consulting the experts one after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine. Then they bought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine carefully, from top to bottom.Two of the ship’s owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After examining, the old man reached with his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully puts his hammer away. The engine was fixed!! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for $10000.
“What!”, the owner exclaimed. “He hardly did anything.” So they wrote the old man, a note saying, “please send us an itemized bill.”
(And guess what the breakup was???)
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer - Rs.2.00
Knowing where to tap - Rs.9998.00
“Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your lives makes all the difference.”
Why is Stress so Stressful???
Why is everyone around talking about stress? Why is it that there are numerous seminars held to manage stress? While reading through a few stress management articles, I found understanding the techniques to manage stress and some stress models, more stressful than stress itself!
So what are we talking about here? Well, nothing technical. We’ll take a look at the brighter side.
Let’s begin with what stress is and how negative it actually is. Stress is the ‘wear and tear’ our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment. So should change be stopped? Nah, ‘change is the only constant.’ How can a constant be altered? We say stress results in feelings of distrust, rejection, anger and depression etc. Is that all about stress? Although stress has become synonymous with something bad, some stress is good for you. Every coin has two sides and so does stress.
Positive stress also known as ‘eustress’, can help compel us to action, it can result in new awareness and exciting new perspectives. It can inspire us to do our best and perform better, than if we were under no stress. Research says, ‘we are capable of peak levels of performance when under moderate amount of stress’. Looks like you don’t believe it. Let me cite an example:
Consider a situation such as taking a test or giving a presentation. Reducing your stress through preparation and careful planning leads to a more confident and competent performance. The increase in stress motivated and caused you to take action. Isn’t it?
The catch in the positive stress thinking is determining the optimal levels of stress for you. Everyone is an individual with unique requirements. An event can be distressing to one while joy to another. As an individual, you need to be aware of your stressors (stress causing factors) and your emotional and physical reactions. Becoming aware of the present moment rather than dwelling in the past or projecting into future will help you point out when it is too much for you. Once you can figure that out, you can immediately act to control excess stress.
To conclude I’ll narrate a small story. Once upon a time in a land, East of globe, there was a dancer, a dancer who danced like no other. Then as fate would have it, she met with an accident that took her legs away. Was she stressed? The physical and social inadequacies gave her more impetus to carry on her dance performances with help of prosthetic legs rather than deter her spirits. She kept her calm. She hung in there. You guessed it right. Sudha Chandran.
So, is stress really stressful???
So what are we talking about here? Well, nothing technical. We’ll take a look at the brighter side.
Let’s begin with what stress is and how negative it actually is. Stress is the ‘wear and tear’ our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment. So should change be stopped? Nah, ‘change is the only constant.’ How can a constant be altered? We say stress results in feelings of distrust, rejection, anger and depression etc. Is that all about stress? Although stress has become synonymous with something bad, some stress is good for you. Every coin has two sides and so does stress.
Positive stress also known as ‘eustress’, can help compel us to action, it can result in new awareness and exciting new perspectives. It can inspire us to do our best and perform better, than if we were under no stress. Research says, ‘we are capable of peak levels of performance when under moderate amount of stress’. Looks like you don’t believe it. Let me cite an example:
Consider a situation such as taking a test or giving a presentation. Reducing your stress through preparation and careful planning leads to a more confident and competent performance. The increase in stress motivated and caused you to take action. Isn’t it?
The catch in the positive stress thinking is determining the optimal levels of stress for you. Everyone is an individual with unique requirements. An event can be distressing to one while joy to another. As an individual, you need to be aware of your stressors (stress causing factors) and your emotional and physical reactions. Becoming aware of the present moment rather than dwelling in the past or projecting into future will help you point out when it is too much for you. Once you can figure that out, you can immediately act to control excess stress.
To conclude I’ll narrate a small story. Once upon a time in a land, East of globe, there was a dancer, a dancer who danced like no other. Then as fate would have it, she met with an accident that took her legs away. Was she stressed? The physical and social inadequacies gave her more impetus to carry on her dance performances with help of prosthetic legs rather than deter her spirits. She kept her calm. She hung in there. You guessed it right. Sudha Chandran.
So, is stress really stressful???
Invest Young
Any time is a good time to invest; but the benefits of investing in one when you are younger, are numerous. Believe it or not, if you are 25-30 and in your first job, you can buy a house and have it repaid by the time you are 40. Be debt free from then on.
When you are younger, the repayment tenure offered by banks is longer as you have age on your side. You can always make sure that the loan is paid up as your career and income rise. Also you can swap to a larger property as your career progresses.
It is advisable to buy a home early on in life when one’s financial commitments are controllable. For youngsters in their first job, it is an impressionable time. It creates a forced saving and the investment also gets time to appreciate. What’s more, you can save tax under section 80C.
How much can you afford?
Check your assured cash flows-don’t be overly optimistic and don’t borrow on optimism. Provide sufficiently for your monthly expenses. Keep some margin for unexpected bills. Leave some aside for interest rate fluctuations and emergencies. A good thumb rule is to keep at least 50-60% of your income for all these expenses and repay EMIs from the balance. An advantage while investing young would be, if your income increases, your repayment capacity also improves.
Loan eligibility:
An applicant’s repayment capacity is the most crucial determinant of his loan eligibility. If a borrower doesn’t have sufficient funds to make repayments, it is a worrisome situation for both the borrower and the lender. The thumb rule goes that the EMI of your home loan must not exceed 40% of your gross monthly income. This way you can meet your other monthly expenses and commitments; yet sail smoothly through the debt period. The other assets and savings that you own will indicate to the bank that you have other resources to fall back on in times of financial crunch. Your credit history details will reassure the lender that you will not default.
The simplest technique to enhance loan eligibility is by clubbing incomes of spouse. If the income of father, mother or son is pooled in the family income then also it enhances the loan eligibility. Enhance your home loan eligibility by opting for a higher tenure. The EMI that is due declines as the tenure increases.
When computing your loan eligibility, the lender simply wants to ensure that you can comfortably repay the loan amount. In a nutshell, repayment capacity is based on applicant’s income, assets, liabilities, job stability and credit history.
When you are younger, the repayment tenure offered by banks is longer as you have age on your side. You can always make sure that the loan is paid up as your career and income rise. Also you can swap to a larger property as your career progresses.
It is advisable to buy a home early on in life when one’s financial commitments are controllable. For youngsters in their first job, it is an impressionable time. It creates a forced saving and the investment also gets time to appreciate. What’s more, you can save tax under section 80C.
How much can you afford?
Check your assured cash flows-don’t be overly optimistic and don’t borrow on optimism. Provide sufficiently for your monthly expenses. Keep some margin for unexpected bills. Leave some aside for interest rate fluctuations and emergencies. A good thumb rule is to keep at least 50-60% of your income for all these expenses and repay EMIs from the balance. An advantage while investing young would be, if your income increases, your repayment capacity also improves.
Loan eligibility:
An applicant’s repayment capacity is the most crucial determinant of his loan eligibility. If a borrower doesn’t have sufficient funds to make repayments, it is a worrisome situation for both the borrower and the lender. The thumb rule goes that the EMI of your home loan must not exceed 40% of your gross monthly income. This way you can meet your other monthly expenses and commitments; yet sail smoothly through the debt period. The other assets and savings that you own will indicate to the bank that you have other resources to fall back on in times of financial crunch. Your credit history details will reassure the lender that you will not default.
The simplest technique to enhance loan eligibility is by clubbing incomes of spouse. If the income of father, mother or son is pooled in the family income then also it enhances the loan eligibility. Enhance your home loan eligibility by opting for a higher tenure. The EMI that is due declines as the tenure increases.
When computing your loan eligibility, the lender simply wants to ensure that you can comfortably repay the loan amount. In a nutshell, repayment capacity is based on applicant’s income, assets, liabilities, job stability and credit history.
Are you Response-Able?
“When something goes wrong, we can either choose to act responsibly or resentfully.”
Many must have read this quote in school or in a newspaper.But how many of us have actually stopped and given it a thought to imbibe it? How many of us have ever tried to connect it to our lives and our big and small decisions?........Well, not many.
Now, lets try to understand this simple concept and see why its so important. Whenever something happens, we react to that situation. But between the occurrence of a situation and our reaction lies a small space. That small space contains our choice, the choice to react positively or negatively.
Yes, we can always choose the way we react to any situation. It would be wrong to say that a particular situation made me behave like that or it changed my attitude. We can choose the way we want to behave or mould our attitudes. We are what we want to become.
Mahatma Gandhi never gave in to any situation created by the British. He chose his actions and decisions and stood by them. If he can do this, then why can’t we?
This response ability gives rise to what we call as being “responsible”. This ability to make a choice is the stepping stone to forging our characters. The habit of taking impulsive decisions is a step towards self-destruction.
So, before becoming a people’s manager, we must learn to manage our self because personal management comes first and is rather a foundation for a successful team management.
So are you response-able?
The choice is yours….......
Many must have read this quote in school or in a newspaper.But how many of us have actually stopped and given it a thought to imbibe it? How many of us have ever tried to connect it to our lives and our big and small decisions?........Well, not many.
Now, lets try to understand this simple concept and see why its so important. Whenever something happens, we react to that situation. But between the occurrence of a situation and our reaction lies a small space. That small space contains our choice, the choice to react positively or negatively.
Yes, we can always choose the way we react to any situation. It would be wrong to say that a particular situation made me behave like that or it changed my attitude. We can choose the way we want to behave or mould our attitudes. We are what we want to become.
Mahatma Gandhi never gave in to any situation created by the British. He chose his actions and decisions and stood by them. If he can do this, then why can’t we?
This response ability gives rise to what we call as being “responsible”. This ability to make a choice is the stepping stone to forging our characters. The habit of taking impulsive decisions is a step towards self-destruction.
So, before becoming a people’s manager, we must learn to manage our self because personal management comes first and is rather a foundation for a successful team management.
So are you response-able?
The choice is yours….......
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